“Why Abortion Doulas Matter, Even When We’re Just Showing Up” by Alice Markham-Cantor
I’m considering becoming an abortion doula. This is the first piece (and a powerful one at that) I’ve read that explains what it’s like. Weirdly, I forgot about the protestors. They’re the only factor that give me pause. But being there for a person who needs the procedure pulls at my soul, and I can tell this is something I need to do. It’s needed.
Values-based spending is a major part of my business and personal life, so I wanted to share this article.
I do wish the article went a little further. Where you spend your daily dollars and doing the research on the businesses from which you purchase is huge too! All the times I’ve called out places on my Instagram account for not supporting Black Lives Matter or allowing sexual predators to go unchecked? That’s values-based spending too.
Do you practice values-based personal finance? Is it something you want to do but aren’t sure how to start? Let’s talk about it in the comments below!
I don’t really care what your views on abortion are. Abortions are health care. They are medically necessary. They aren’t going anywhere. If they become harder to obtain, we’ll find ways to make sure people get the care they need. That’s it. There’s no discussion about it.
And as the saying goes, if you don’t like abortion, don’t have one.
Monika is everyone’s favorite person including mine. So, it’s shitty when the city decides to fuck with her livelihood. My favorite Register reporter, Melody Mercado, details that shittiness the city is putting Monika, Sweet Tooth Farm and Radiate DSM through all in the name of money. Because feeding hungry people isn’t important. As someone who faced a lot of resistance to feed hungry college students, I cannot stand when people get in the way of food security. One of the easiest ways to maintain systemic discrimination is to keep the marginalized hungry. In other words, fuck the systems. We cannot fight for our wholeness if we can’t even keep people fed. (Sadly, that’s the whole plan by these assholes, isn’t it?)
Additional relevant links:
With the conversation in my IG post today, I needed to highlight this excerpt from Conason’s piece:
Our preference for the term “diet culture” over “the patriarchy” mirrors what has happened in the “body positive” movement, which quickly left behind its roots of radical fat activism to morph into a movement centering privileged bodies that allowed people to feel empowered without requiring any real change. Body positivity is cool while fat acceptance is not.Dr. Alexis Conason, “Why Do We Say “Diet Culture” Instead of “the Patriarchy?”
Why do I go hard on hating diet culture? It’s because it disempowers women and non-binary folks, and it continues to insult, ignore, and harm fat folks.
Alliterations aside (heh), part of why Whole Damn Woman exists is because I grew tired of being told things weren’t polite to discuss. I remember in the early days of my Instagram use, I shared I wanted to talk about bodies and sex and food and politics and sexuality and race . . . a friend replied, “You mean all the stuff that’s not polite to bring up over dinner?”
Yes, that’s exactly what I mean.
Think about it. We live in a constant relationship with our bodies, but we rarely talk about them. During a presentation this morning, I asked attendees if they were ever asked as kids, “How do you feel about your body today?” Or even “How are you feeling in your body today?” No one said yes.
Yet we’re also told, “Listen to your body.” Like how? No one teaches us that. But we can’t bring it up because talking about bodies is impolite.
The same goes for politics, which influences and affects literally everything we do. Yet it’s rude to talk about it because it’s supposedly divisive.
Sex? Literally how we are created.
Food? Literally how we stay alive.
Sexuality? Literally how we maneuver major relationships.
Race? Literally a part of how we encounter one another.
Yet we aren’t supposed to talk about these things? This is my problem. Calling such major topics “impolite” forces us into silence, which perpetuates hatred, violence, abuse, and ignorance. If we can’t talk about what massively affects us, how are we to tackle the problems?
Maybe calling it all “impolite” was by design . . .
While our society can make recommendations for what is supposedly best for our bodies, we still have bodily autonomy. We still get to decide what “best” truly means. This, however, is where the injustices come in.
Where Body Injustice Shows Up
CW: Violence, assault, sexual abuse, bodily harm, death
Think back to those large social structures like government, law enforcement, and health care.
Politicians make laws telling us what we can and cannot do with our bodies, and courts frequently strike those down. Sometimes, political decisions lead to human rights violations like forced sterilizations. And sometimes, the medical industry itself does not provide informed consent and uses human bodies as experiments.
Moreover, medicine is not advanced enough to cope with one fact: All bodies are different. The history of medical care is founded upon the White male body as the default. Not only is that inaccurate, it costs people their health, time, money, and lives. That is injustice.
That’s not even all of it. I haven’t even talked about these industries: food, beauty, fashion, technology, fitness, finance, environment, and more. Most social structures have something to say about our bodies without taking into account the truth that they aren’t prepared to deal with how different our bodies are.
My Point . . .
What I want is to advocate for respecting the differences between informed recommendations, generalized suggestions, and force. Thanks to social power, it’s understandable to want to influence behavior for the sake of a healthier populace. We want folks to stop smoking, to stop drinking to excess, and to avoid anything that creates harm. However, we may not always understand what is best for a person especially when our knowledge on what creates harm is still evolving. After all, medicinal marijuana is almost mainstream while some politicians are fearmongering against it (and mind you, I’m not even that interested in weed in any sense, but come on).
Body justice allows room for bodies to be different, to be respected, and to be honored. It allows us to look at our bodies with compassion rather than social expectations thrust upon us. Instead of certain body types being the default of what’s considered healthy, large social structures can adapt to the realities that some bodies need what others don’t. Body justice changes how we see food, exercise, reproductive rights, disabilities, trans rights, sexuality, and mental health. And maybe we could be less stuck on models that simply do not work like dieting, gender binaries, and outdated laws.
In short, tons of industries are making billions on what they tell us our bodies need without knowing anything about who we are, our genetic make up, or our desires. Instead of tailoring to us, they try to manipulate our desires to fit what they’re selling. I’m saying, “That’s enough.”
If you’re looking for justice for your body, you might be confused or not care about how sociology relates, but stick with me. It’s the foundation of all things body justice.
Your Body and Sociology
As you probably know (but I never assume), sociology is the study of how external forces influence our behavior. It runs parallel (and often perpendicular) to psychology, which examines internal behavioral influences. That aside, sociology analyzes large social structures like religion and politics as well as small groups like our peers and relationships. Both large structures and small groups influence how we see things and how we behave. Especially in America, we like to think we’re individuals with uninfluenced free will. This, however, is not the case. Just think of the last time you quoted a movie, show, or song.
The U.S. and Sociology and Health
Now, if structures like religion, politics, education, business, and so on influence our thinking and behavior, that includes our bodies. Public health is a thing. It’s the reason the CDC, AMA, and U.S. Department of Health and Human Services exist. There’s no shortage of organizations and governments working with human bodies. These groups guide health with recommendations and limitations. They shape laws, public opinion, media stories, which means they also shape thinking and behavior. They are our overlords, like it or not.
Example: Oh, It’s Still a Pandemic
Case in point: COVID-19. We relied on social health structures to inform, protect, and help us. We’re depending upon the social structures of public health to work together to distribute the vaccine. Some of us are vaccinated, some aren’t, some hope to be, some don’t.
Need a visual of how this flows throughout our society? Here you are!
This whole flow is called the macrosociology-microsociology link, which is a fancy way of saying large structures and small groups and individuals influence one another (despite the arrows on the graphic, this flow does go both directions). Neat, huh? It’s proof that we influence society, and society influences us. And yes, if you want to make butterfly effect references, feel free. That’s right on target.
But of course, there will always be a group of people who are unwilling (and some unable) to follow social recommendations. That said, their thinking and behavior changes as well. They go from not talking about something like COVID-19 to talking about it to actively opposing the recommendations. Sometimes, they protest. In this case, some protest, specifically, the right to make choices for their own bodies.
What’s this mean for body justice? It means bodies have social power. Large social structures cannot operate without power, and they know our bodies have power, so they try to control that power. However, because our bodies are ours, that means WE have the power. And tomorrow, I’ll get into your body’s power, how you can use it, and how you can stop others from using it without your permission.
I’m taking this week to talk about my business pivot into body justice, so it’s a little less formal and more writing to think out loud content. That said, I would LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE your feedback on this!
Social justice is a massive topic, and I knew going into it that it was too big a scope for my business. But I wasn’t sure what part of social justice was right for me. I want to leave the door open for discussing race, but I don’t want to be pigeonholed into that because too many people are quick to relegate Brown and Black folks to only talking about race. I want to be an advocate for people with disabilities, but I’m not qualified to teach others on it, and I don’t think it’s my place or story to tell. I have a lot to say about religion, education, politics, and economics and how they influence social expectations, but obviously, there’s a lot there.
What I noticed was a consistent interest in bodies for me. I don’t like how religion drives social demands over our bodies. I loathe how politicians think they have any right to supersede our relationships with our physicians, and I hate how physicians refuse to understand how we know our bodies better than they do. We need our bodies to work in this capitalism economy, but that doesn’t mean employers have say over our bodies even if they provide us health insurance, yet that doesn’t stop them. We have bodily autonomy, and I want to fight for reminding everyone of that.
Hence, body justice.
However . . . the biggest use of body justice I’ve seen so far is, of course, diet culture-loving fitness junkies. So, I’m taking it for my uses.
I’ll take the week to explore some ideas within body justice, so I hope you’ll join me in thinking out loud!